Thursday, April 27, 2006

split second prophet

As I wrestle through the issue of being loved, and try to allow God to fill the void I have so often tried to fill with the love of others, it has become important to ask Him how He sees me. Some of the things He has communicated to my heart have been so personal, so affirming, they are too valuable and precious to write outside my personal journal.

But a couple things He said to me clicked together today, so I will share it here, 'cause I think it is cool.

Last Saturday I took a long, solitary time and just read and prayed and journaled and cried and pondered. Then I went for a walk. Along the way I noticed a plant with some tiny purple flowers.

I stopped and bent down to look more closely.

As I looked at them I felt a sense of awe and wonder.

Such miniature intricacy, yet designed to withstand the harsh wind and rain. So few people see them, yet God put them there. I felt blessed and loved to be able to see and share that with Him in that moment.

As I looked at them, (not really thinking about how I had asked Him to speak to me and tell me what He thinks of me; how He sees me) I felt God say
"You notice things. You notice beauty that no one else sees. Sometimes it is tiny like this. Other times it is right in front of their face but they don't see the beauty in it; don't see it as beauty. People have made fun of you for that, but I made you that way. I AM that way. In being like this, you are like Me. You notice beauty and point it out to others. If not for you, they would have missed it; would have missed Me."
I smiled and my eyes got a little teary as I thought of how much my Heavenly Dad likes me -- really really likes the way He made me. How easy it is to just be me sometimes.

Today I was at work and had been doing my own thing, but also listening to a conversation between two MDs. As one turned to me to begin telling me what the patient would need, I had the form in my hand and it was already filled out. He had a sort of deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, but I just smiled and headed off to give the form to the patient.

As I was walking toward the copier room, I felt a little euphoric. Like, a little rush or something. It was kinda cool. Like, almost on the verge of tears in joy. I began to think to myself how weird it is that I would get so choked up over that. It happens to me fairly often -- usually once a week or so, sometimes more: I have an interaction with someone where I anticipate something, simply by paying close attention to what is going on around me, then I use that info to help them. Then I get all giddy for a few minutes. WTH?

As I reflected on this, God showed me very clearly in my heart:
"It is like I said to you about noticing beauty, Keith. I made you this way. You notice things others don't realize you notice, then you use that info to help people and care for them. It is the gift of prophecy: seeing My heart and seeing into the future and then using that to bless others. Some people see years into the future. You? You see a split second into the future. And Keith, you know how you've sometimes seen yourself like the character Radar, from M*A*S*H? You're right. I made you that way. And you're good-hearted like him too."

Isn't that cool?

~ cob


Unknown said...

You will seek him and find him when you seek him with all your heart...

James Proffitt said...

Remember waaay back in a home group when we all took those Meyers-Briggs personality tests? I remember I was an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving). I've kept that knowledge with me and it has helped me understand myself and to understand that we're all made differently. And of course we all have value for who we are and how God created us for a purpose.

Emancipation of the Freed said...

Hi Keith:

Loved today's post, it reminded me of a novel I just finished. "Blink" by Ted Dekker has a main charactrer who has gifting that allows him to look into the very near future. I enjoyed it, you might too. Dekker has a website (of course)

may you have great grace for the journey...


Anonymous said...

I haven't had a chance to read any blogs for a while, but something made me check yours out this morning. It has always been obvious to me that you "march to a different drummer" (which pleases God, no end). You are, indeed, "fearfully and wonderfully made." Blessings.