The wind no longer howls.
The coke bottles have stopped.
The silence is no longer empty. It is filled with peace.
I am no longer alone.
I wrestled with God for most of the night. I poured out my heart like never before. He met me there and showed me He has been there for a long time. He wrestled with me and showed me His strength; showed me mine. I embraced Him. I embraced His strength.
I embraced my own strength, and will no longer run from it.
I will be what God made me to be, and not shrink back from it. I will fail, but I will try again. I will fail again but I will keep on trying. I will fall, but I will get up. I will fall again but I will keep getting up. I and those around me are worth fighting for, so I will keep fighting for myself and for them.
In His wisdom God will choose to offer me His love and strength through others and I will no longer shut them out. I will instead meekly ask for and gratefully receive this love. When I am in pain I will courageously let people know, but I will no longer whine. When I fall and fail I will humbly bow and ask forgiveness. I will also gratefully accept grace extended to me.
But only He can meet my deepest need. Only in Him will I look for my source of strength.
Because of Him, because of my strength:
Today I am no longer Edmund. I am now Peter.
I will not shrink back from the battles which need fighting.
I will be the husband my wife needs me to be; I will fight for her and alongside her.
I will be the brother my sisters & brothers need me to be; I will fight for them and alongside them.
I will be the man those around me need me to be, and I will fight for them.
I can and will be these things because I have been and still am a Son in His Embrace. I am also now something new. He has given me a new name. I am also now Son of His Embrace. And more:
I am a Son of His Tender Strength.
And today I am no longer a boy.
It was not something newly offered. It was there all along. He showed me this overnight as I wrestled with Him and He showed me not only how to ask for it. He showed me how to take hold of it.
As of today I am now a man.